Before I get into this I want to point out that this will touch a bit upon death and birth, so if you're not feeling up to reading about it, don't force yourself. Bookmark the page for a later date, etc.
I’ve always wanted to create things, from music, art, stories and more recently games. I’ve never really stuck with most of my creative pursuits, all for various reasons I dropped them, whether it be the dwindling interest or a lack of funds. Even now to a certain point I jump from one creative interest to another, just within the realms of game development though.
Coming into game development when I did was the first big turning point in fulfilling the creative need I had, along with realising the dream I only sort of knew I had.
It started about five years ago where the dream was to just create games, no kind of context nor meaning, just creating whatever came to my mind. It was pick up a game engine and make games, simple right?
Yes, well I say yes, it was easier for me to pickup game development now than if I'd considered it 5 to 10 years before hand.
Now though, that dream is to create games that will have meaning to someone, have a profound impact on how they see certain subjects or even help them come to terms with something.
That someone includes me.
We all have things we want or even need to come to terms with, hoped to understand better or just wanted something to relate to on a personal level.
We all have scars that will never heal, sometimes we don't want them to heal as they serve as a reminder of who we are, how they've shaped us and what we've been through.
Very few people know this because it’s not really something I’d broadcasted on social media but I'm an uncle. Myself becoming an uncle, the short time my nephew was with us and grieving his passing, have shaped how I want to make my games.
I dived into game development with as my way of dealing with everything that was going on. I still met up with my friends and family because I know that I would have been in a much worse place if I didn't.
I needed that time to let it out, to talk to someone outside of my family.
But my focus was game development, then and now it's more in-depth, with more focus on the meanings I want to convey behind my games. My more recent ideas, designs and projects, show more of the depth for the narratives and diving into what societies see as more touchy subjects, from the cycle of life and death, mental health, through to sex and relationships.
Dungeons of Loot, a none violent dungeon crawler focusing around the idea of exploring dungeons on your own. It's a very lonely game you’re one person in the dungeons with no one to talk to. You go around through these four dungeons, discovering the reason of their existence and the history behind them. This wasn’t originally the case, but as I’ve been more socially awkward and quiet, it’s seeped its way into how I’ve made this game.
Another example is Unto Darkness, for this I wanted to explore the darker side of magical girls (It sounds slightly weird, I know), dealing with the death and destruction that comes with big magic battles, along with how pressure of being required to save the entire population can get too much. It also explores the concept of higher powers how the role they’d play both with the magical girls and shaping how the world is or how they want it to be.
Finally there's ProjektLUNA, this is one of my projects that has been put on hold while I build up my skills in game development. This like a few of my other ideas/projects comes from my Timelines book series, more specifically the Luna timeline. Both with the game and the original story I wanted to explore same sex relationships and how they're no different from any other relationship.
"You know, Luna? We're like the night sky and the moon, don't you think?" The black-haired woman asked as she leaned in closer resting her head on Luna's shoulder.
Luna I (Timelines Volume 2)
Like a fair few creative people, I have a backlog of ideas just waiting for life to be injected into them, ideas that cover a range of subjects from things like same-sex relationships, maintaining a relationship, through to coping with the death of loved ones, struggling with the demons inside of you and an infinite amount more.
Remember, even though game development can be therapeutic and introspective, remember to take time away, go out somewhere, talk to friends and family, even seek professional help.
That’s all from me, if you don’t already you can follow me over on twitter @MrLParker and here on mastodon.